SMUT NEWS

  As part of SMUT's continuing commitment to furthering the preservation scene and railfan retail industries, we have launched a trial website aimed at promoting such.  All posts placed on the site are done so free of charge and people are invited to email us with possible contributions of relevance. All contributions should be relevant to the two topics.
  Retailers are invited to show us new products.
  Thank you to all our SMUT supporters for helping us promote and grow this wonderful hobby.
  Thank you to all our haters for showing us how important it is to help promote the hobby for the future.....oh and a pretty good laugh.

SMUT NEWS WEBSITE

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PLEASE NOTE:

I have lost access to all SMUT groups on Facebook for a week.
Yet another attack from someone wishing to put a stop to what our group does.
While we have a good idea who this person is, we are awaiting a response from Facebook, a response that will hopefully confirm this suspicion.
If that confirmation comes, it will be placed up here.
Until the ban is lifted, I apologise for any lack of group responses during this time.
Sadly, there are many in this hobby who are offended by the work we do.

~~ MORE RANDOM HELPINGS ~~

From The Murky Depths Of The Archive

Not the countries biggest loco, this wonderful little unit (MSB #2) now resides at the Menangle Machinery Museum. This museum is open a few times a year and well worth a look for railfans who like smaller industrial items.

JL404 1872 at Gelco (near Port Botany).

The JL has lost its logos nowdays, while the 18 has racked off to South Australia and doing goodness knows what.

Rowie (aka Sugarbush) very busy at work with his railfan duties.


Shakey (aka Matt English) enjoys a brief respite from attacks by MrX while Matty Green looks at something else.

A very sexy looking 4497 between duties at Leightonfield.

Twas a strange livery, but alas it is now one.

4488 at Leightonfield with one of them EL things

And for the heck of it another 44, this time in the shape of 4458 arriving at Gelco with containers for Port Botany. She two has lost her unique livery seen here.

3930 on a catle train somewhere along the Ipswich line.

To some it is so very boring, to others it brings on strange desires best not talked about, the famous 3801 is seen here crossing the very old Menangle bridge.

101 in the process of becoming a GL.

101 waiting to be vandalised and turned into a GL.

D17 on a torpedo ladle run.

Port Kembla steelworks.

Menangle Machinery Museum again, this time an operational kettle.

~ 80s Railfanning ~

Stop - Stop - Stop

Now before one of the Railpage crowd see this and go off their rocker about where I am standing without a 'Track Awareness Certificate', or demanding I show proof of one of those train deflecting safety vests that seems to have become the fashion statement of the average foamer, please let me point out that this is back in the early 80s.

Ahhh yes, the 80s. It is a time I am giving more and more thought to in recent times. Especially now as a small flicker of Australian railway interest is again developing, after a few turbulent years of the railfan dictatorship that is the 'Railways and Industrial Heritage Society Phils Inc'.

You know, while this may be hard to believe, but selected railfans in the Philippines are equal to the biggest tools we have here. Go figure, it must be a global thing.

Railfanning in the 80s, perhaps even the early 90s, was a far more fun affair. You could be more a part of the action without being arrested, as well as less (but not totally) likely to be molested by a fan you met in a railfan chat room.

There were far more old lines of interest and one had to make an effort to go somewhere to see different things, the Hunter for the 47s and the west for the 49s. Heck knows, one wold have to actually go to Victoria to see an X and South Australia to see a GM.

I'm sorry, but the current sterile, caged in, system of any loco almost anywhere is just not the same. However that is just a personal view.

Tours were also a far more enjoyable event, with photo shoots in locations that would have rail managers nowdays running to Targets underwear department in fear.

Possibly the most fondly remembered of these is those operated by 'ET Tours', the tour organising company of the now departed Bruce Cook. Bruce had a knack for organising interesting tours and getting into locations that would just not be on now days.

The Rozelle wheat and coal terminals, patrons actually climbing up on the buildings to get shots, the never completed station on the Eastern Suburbs line, hopping of the first red rattler to make it south of Helensburgh, Glenlee colliery, prowling around the Homebush Saleyards (now part of that intensely boring Olympic Park) and even Port Kembla Outer Harbour on a U-Boat.

You were always assured of familiar faces back in those days, David 'Wombat' Henderson and Peter Bubb (whatever happened to those two?), the late Bruce Cook and Bob Potts, good ol John Bartlett, Andrew Haviland and Roy Howarth. Then there were the 80s specials, the guy who always went on tour with a boom box, the guy who always talked to his umbrella, and of course the ever famous C.A Lewis.

As I fondle my way through these old photos, remembering all these times, it sort of makes one terribly sad that the railfan hobby has changed so much and that we perhaps all didn't appreciate it as much back then as we should have.

Photo: Menangle Park station with railfan Peter Bubb looking out for any trains.

Gastro

~~ COMING VERY SOON ~~

Cooties takes us on an adventure through the anals of the LocoShed archives looking at the many railfans I have had the pleasure (sometimes otherwise) of hanging around over the years.

The Fun - The Sad - The Smelly

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~~ HAWKSBURY FOAMER SESSION ~~

Heck it has been a lot of years since I strutted my foamer bot on up to the beautiful Hawksbury River for a day of gunzel activity.
Things had changed little, 'JJs Seafood' was still across the road, the magnificent scenery remained the same and that usual local feeling of relaxation instantly rolls across you, enveloping you in one of those rare happy feelings.

I'm gradually reaquainting myself with the pleasures of a day lineside, aving virtually given it up two years ago in a futile attempt at greater happiness being involved in the Filipino community here in Sydney.
Growing discontent over the backstabbing, rumours, lies and gossip has had me looking back more and more, to the days of old. The simpler days spent by the countries railway lines, waiting for trains and talking whatever bollocks tat comes to mind with whatever railfan mate is with you.

Now as most would know, I am not one for the railfan tool, te wanker who judges his existence by the size of his, well, lens. You know, the ego-maniac railfan who feels there is nothing better than being the countries leading gunzel, well, perhaps a box of tissues while looking at S set photos in the privacy of ones bedroom.

Anyway, so it was that everyones beloved Colonel asked me to come along on a trip to Hawksbury River with his good self and our other great mate Trent, or Raichase to those whos entire existence revolves around that conveyor of occasional truth, RailPage.

As was expected, a day of great fun, many laughs, calamari and the occasional out of gauge movement was had. Numeorus trains were recorded on the old camera devices and even the occasional hornbag strutted her stuff for all to see.
Good ol Aussie humour came to the fore and on more than one occasion we nearly had one of those personal type accidents no railfans, outside of Melbourne, wishes to have while on the hunt.

Thanks to Colonel and Raichase for an awesome day - hope we can repeat it again soon.

Spadge

V Set approaches Hawksbury River.

V25 at Hawksbury River - hmmmm love that brake smell.

T28 at Strathfield prior to our trip north.

S73 at Burwood!

Not long for this world, S67 is seen approaching Strathfield.

A Gunzel Pelican!

Passenger purchases ticket from one of those ticket machine contraptions!

Passengers arrive for a day of Hawksbury Entertainment.

Southern Spirit liveried NR84 leads sister NR68 on a down container service.

Pretty in pink!

Awaiting the next service from Strathfield!

Mop and bucket to platform 1 :-)
Trent and The Colonel discuss whether T set bogies are better than S class doors.

3801 has a lot to answer for!

Uhhmmm OK, I will take two 9kg cylinders worth thanks!

Beautiful Hawksbury River!

Same!!!!

8236 39 58 56 on a down empty coal train.

8153 48 71 48127 up grain train.

Transvestite at Strathfield and headed for Sydney Terminal!

IRA 1428 and 1445 on down containers at Hawksbury River!

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Join us in coming days when the Colonel and myself are joined by the wives for a day of ferry foaming, trains and significant hornzaling activity.

10553

~~ DRIBBLY FOAMERS AFTER DARK ~~

It is a question many of you have probably wondered over the years, "what exactly do railfans get up to after dark".
It is indeed a good question, and while there is a number of things, most of them cannot be listed here for moral and keeping your last meal down reasons.
Now far be it from me to judge what railfans do behind their own doors, I mean if they wish to risk paper cuts from prints on their most sesitive of parts, or don't mind an unwelcome visit or two from the RSPCA, then that is their choice and, quite frankly, none of our business. Unless it's our poodle.

On the odd occasion, some of the more, ahhmmm, well I wouldn't say mentally balanced, perhaps interesting, railfans get together (for a party you filthmongers).
Hmmmmm well some of us with an appreciation for alcohol and excessive consumption of same, occasionally get together for a BBQ, drinkies, chat and, some of us, to vomit on each other before falling on the floor.

Its times like this that allow you to unwind, to forget about that 92 year old guy that tried to fondle you lineside at Tahmoor last month and to finally get passed the last two years of utter devestation over missing 3112 as emergency engine on the Indian Pacific.

So put down your 'Bovine Weekly' stick book and grab your softest rag, lets have a look back into the anals of railfan history for a party had way back in 2006, a time when trains were much the same as they were today and gerbil injuries were on the increase.

The woman and children went into hiding!

A former editor of Railway Digest paws through some railfan porn while Tezza looks on!

Scotty knows how to handle the meat.

Another Digest editor looks after his contributers!

Yes well, it was time to take a number!

Dr Seuss drops in to represent CFCLA, while the psycologist is still looking for nuts!

Things begin to heat up in the railfan room and inhibitions are

thrown out the window.

WHERE YA FLAMIN BEEN SPADGE??????

Yeah Yeah Yeah! I know I have been bleedin quiet for a while.

It isn't because of a lack of interest, just a lack of time doing many other things, most notably my work setting up an Australian division of the 'Railways and Industrial Heritage Society Phils Inc' and also building a new website called Philippine-Fleetlist, devoted to, hardly surprisingly, the rollingstock used in the Philippines.

Yes the bulk of my interest is aimed at the Philippines nowdays, but that is not to say I can't get a dribble up lineside over Aussie trains, or a full on foam when rooting through the archives in search of some railway tidbit or another.
The ol 'Semi-Retired Foamer' still likes nothing more than a day out bush and lineside with the mates, swapping smutty stories, telling stupid jokes and, well, I suppose watch some trains scream by with their endless array boring flat cabbed locos up front.
Indeed just the other day I was out around the Botany line with my good mate Chris Miller and that report forms my next post.
" Surely but Spadge - Philippine trains can't have kept you THAT busy for so many weeks!"

Yes you are right, they didn't.

SPADGE TURNED 40

Oh heck, it was that milestone very few of us wishes to achieve. It marks the exact moment we go from being alive, to just awaiting death.

Old mate Grim Reaper appears to be lurking around all corners, just waiting for us to make that wrong turn. You see mates who have made that wrong turn leave forever and now start to consider when will it be my time.
I have heard time and time and time again that "Life begins at 40".

BOLLOCKS

It it the pinnacle of a mountain and now it is time to come back down.
I look back on my life as a foamer and see so many times that have changed, railway things that were once daily and now spoken about like ancient history.
Once I used to admire people who had seen so many diesels that have long gone, been able to share photos of stuff I would have been able to get myself had I been a bit older. But now I am bleeding one of them myself.
So what has one got to show for all those years of time, effort and money collecting such a monumental collection?
Well the wife feels its the worlds largest collection of garbage, while many of the young railfans of today really don't give a hamsters butt hairs about it all.
Still while I am on this downward slope I shall continue to convey bollocks here within, for any of you who do care less about what the railways were like over the last couple of decades.
Welcome aboard - enjoy the ride.

If there is one positive side to your 40th birthday you get to spend it
with all your friends in the one place.
These three lovely ladies are dearest best friends whom most of the
'Semi-Retired Foamers' life is spent with nowdays.
L-R: My sister Maria, second wife Anabelle and third wife Gina.

Part of the railfan contingent at the party was my good mate James Chuang.
Seen here devouring some of the many Filipino dishes.

Steve Miller came fully prepared for any eventuality dressed
in his OH&S approved outfit.
The safety clothes were considered appropriate in case of any accidents that may see him accidentally crash into any drunken hornbags.

Also attending were gunzels Nathan Chapple, Alec, David Xuereb and the late David 'The Colonel' Phillips.
Sadly the vast majority of my foamer mates never showed, many didn't
even reply to the invitation.

More birthday bollocks at MANILA DOWNUNDER!